We are what we think; all that we are, arises with our thoughts; with our thoughts, we make the world.

Forex Jokes

Laughter is healing and keeps life fun.

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Greek village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.

The American complimented the Greek on the quality of his fish and asked, “How long does it take to catch them?” The Greek replied: “Only a little while.”

The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Greek said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”
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QUESTION: When does a person decide to become a stockbroker?
ANSWER: When he realizes he doesn’t have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.

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The Godfather, accompanied by his stockbroker, walks into a room to meet with his accountant. The Godfather asks the accountant, “Where’s the three million bucks you embezzled from me?”

The accountant doesn’t answer. The Godfather asks again, “Where’s the three million bucks you embezzled from me?”

The stockbroker interrupts, “Sir, the man is a deaf-mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you.” The Godfather says, “Well, ask him where the @#!* money is.”

The stockbroker, using sign language, asks the accountant where the three million dollars is. The accountant signs back, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The stockbroker interprets to the Godfather, “He doesn’t know what you’re talking about.”

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, “Ask him again where the @#!* money is!”

The stockbroker signs to the accountant, “He wants to know where it is!” The accountant signs back, “Okay! Okay! The money’s hidden in a suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!”

The Godfather says, “Well, what did he say?” The stockbroker interprets to the Godfather, “He says that you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger.”

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Bill Clinton was getting off Air Force One carrying a small puppy and the marine at the foot of the steps asked “What do you have there Mr. President?”

Bill replied I got a puppy for Hillary.

Marine says “Excellent trade Sir!

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A man (MAN) calls his fx dealer (DEALER) all anxious and out of breath with this urgency in his voice. He says,
MAN: Close all my positions, everything fast, right away.

The fx dealer tries to talk to the man but the man says,
MAN: Let me tell you a secret. You know I’ve been married for 6 years now and I’ve been your client for 5 years.

DEALER: Yes, go on, the FX dealer says.

MAN: Well. My wife has this thing about the market. Her grandparents lost it all in the GBP crash and ever since then her family found investing in the market akin to original sin. When we got married I promised her that I would follow in her parents footsteps and never venture in the FX market and always leave all our money under the mattress.

DEALER: Wow, I didn’t know that. I guess you want the money because you are losing.

MAN: No, I want the money because she ordered a new mattress and it is being delivered in two days.

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John meets his buddy George and asks hims:
John: Do me a favour, could you lend me $100?
George checks in his wallet and his pockets, then replies:
George: Sorry, pal. I got only $50.
John: Only 50? Never mind. Give give me the 50 you have, and you owe me another $50.

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A forex guru (GURU) walks into a pizzeria to order a pizza. There the waiter (WAITER) asks him: WAITER: Should I cut it into six pieces or eight pieces?
GURU: I’m feeling rather hungry right now. You’d better cut it into eight pieces.

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The market may be bad, but I slept like a baby last night. I woke up every hour and cried.

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The market is weird. Every time one guy sells, another one buys, and they both think they’re smart.

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The real measure of your wealth is how much you’d be worth if you lost all your money.

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An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.

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If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. (c) Clint Eastwood

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What’s considered enough money? Just a little bit more. (c) Will Rogers

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If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars. (c) J. Paul Getty

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