We are what we think; all that we are, arises with our thoughts; with our thoughts, we make the world.

Forex Jokes

Laughter is healing and keeps life fun.

A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own
opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read ‘BEST DEALS.’
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A man walking in the countryside meets a shepherd and a big flock of sheep. The man tells the shepherd: “I will bet you 1000 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock.”

The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet. “855,” says the man.

The shepherd is amazed, because this is the exact number. Says “OK, I’m a man of my word, take a sheep.”

Man picks one up and starts walking away. “Wait,” shouts the shepherd, “Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation!” Man says “OK.”

“You are an economist working for the government,” says the shepherd. “Amazing!” responds the man, “You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you conclude to that?” “Well,” says the shepherd, “put down my dog and I will tell you!”

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This is the story of four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. Consequently, it wound up that Nobody told Anybody, so Everybody blamed Somebody.
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Two.

One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it’s already burned out).

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I can’t get the freakin printer to work!

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Rick was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!”

The next morning Rick got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Rick has been missing since Friday. Please pray for him.

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Susie’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months. Continue reading

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Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.  It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!  They put in a correction the next day.  

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____________________________________
TEACHER:    Why are you late?
STUDENT:     Class started before I got here.
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