We are what we think; all that we are, arises with our thoughts; with our thoughts, we make the world.

Forex Jokes

Laughter is healing and keeps life fun.

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.  It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!  They put in a correction the next day.  

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TEACHER:    Why are you late?
STUDENT:     Class started before I got here.
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Tech Support: What kind of computer do you have ?
Customer: A white one.
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One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

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My Resimay 
   
To hoom it 
mae cunsern, 

I waunt to apply for the job 
what I saw in the paper.

 

 I kin Type realee qwik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.  

I think I am good on the fone and I no I am a pepole person, Pepole realee 
seam to reespond too me well. Certain men and all the ladies.  

I no my spelling is not too good but find that I Offen can get a 
job wit my persinalety.  

 
   
My salerery is open so we kin discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,  

I kin start emeditely.  Thank yoo in advanse fore yore anser.  

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr. 

Sinseerly, 

Bubba 

PS: Because my resimay is a bit short – below is a pickture of  me. 

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Bubba Had Shingles.

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An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes.

The first passenger said, “I am President Obama, the chosen one.  The world needs me, I can’t afford to die.”  So he took the first parachute and left the plane.

The second passenger, Nancy Pelosi, said, “I am the Speaker of the House and I am the smartest woman in American history, so America ‘s people don’t want me to die.” 

She took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane.

The third passenger, John Kerry, said, “I’m a Senator, and a decorated war hero from the Army of the United States of America .”  So he grabbed the parachute next to him and jumped.

The fourth passenger, ex-President George W. Bush, said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl, “I have lived a full life, and served my country the best I could.  I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute.”

The little girl said, “That’s okay, Mr. President.  There’s a parachute left for you.  America ‘s smartest woman took my schoolbag.”

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Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg . Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight “safety lecture” and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: Continue reading

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A friend asked her teenage son to empty the grass catcher from the lawn mower after she had finished mowing. He emptied it on the lawn.

When Gwyn was young we had hamburger gravy on mashed potatoes for dinner. I was poor. I said eat up or we’ll have poop on a shingle for breakfast. She said looks like poop on a cloud for dinner.

While shopping for hair shampoo, my daughter asked for $8.00 shampoo Vidal Sassoon. I asked what’s wrong with the .89 cent stuff I buy. She said look what it did to you dad. (I’m bald). OK Gwyn, you won.

Sometimes kids make no sense at all until you listen to them. But be prepared to laugh.

Mike

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Mamma Bear

Mamma Bear

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